If someone speaks badly of you, do not defend yourself against the accusations, but reply; "you obviously don't know about my other vices, otherwise you would have mentioned these as well."

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Epictetus

If someone speaks badly of you, do not defend yourself against the accusations, but reply; "you obviously don't know about my other vices, otherwise you would have mentioned these as well."

How can I acknowledge what’s true, and disarm the power of judgment with grace and humor?

Context

Epictetus is advocating for humility, self-awareness, and a touch of self-deprecation. Instead of reacting defensively when criticized, he suggests acknowledging the imperfections you do have.

By doing this, you disarm the criticism—it’s hard to attack someone who already knows and admits their flaws. It also highlights the Stoic principle that external judgment is beyond our control. What others think of us doesn’t define us; how we respond does.

The wisdom in this quote is about accepting that no one is perfect, and the more we accept and acknowledge our imperfections, the less power criticism has over us. Epictetus is inviting you to laugh at the judgment rather than internalize it or let it affect your peace. It also suggests that when we are criticized, we should reflect on whether there’s truth in the accusation—without shame, but with curiosity.

In acknowledging our flaws, we take away the sting of judgment and become freer to live authentically. So, the next time you’re faced with criticism, ask yourself: How can I acknowledge what’s true, and disarm the power of judgment with grace and humor? In the end, your peace of mind is yours to protect, no matter what others think or say.

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